Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dear Keith

Dear Keith,

I said I wouldn't be doing anymore Dear Keiths for a bit, but then had to post this:

Were you drunk when you recorded this?... where do I even start. "he's all man, hes 14lbs  he's tough'. I'm sorry, my cat weighs more then that. I'll give you credit for the name George, its veeeery creative.  I have a cat named Nuckena, Canuck sounded to masculine to me and Athena was a nickname of a friend, put the 2 together and I got Nuckena. I thought it was a good idea but maybe I should of just named her...I don't know.....Martha, by your standards. "All man, he has a camouflage collar"so THAT'S my mistake, I better go and return my Victorias Secret camouflage capris, I might come off as  manly, damn that manly camouflage. I give you actual credit for the fact you never put him in one of those damn doggy backpack things, those are absolutely ridiculous, kind of like the fact Aaron Rome actually scored a (empty net) goal last night. I'm really glad you are protecting your dogs identity because it's not like we don't see your face every game,  your face isn't plastered all over the place online and around the city so of course people don't know what you look like. I understand people would totally see the dog first if you showed pictures  and think "Hey thats George!" and mob him for pictures and pawographs, not recognizing you first.

That is all,


A quick run down of what we have learned today. George is 14 pounds, tough, and all man. He's white with a little bit of brown. He's  a Twins fan and  he requires a smaller bed than a big dog. He can sit, it's the only trick he knows to get a treat, and he loves cheese and Pupperoni. He loves big dogs, but he can beat them up, if one gets in  his face he's not afraid to defend himself. Wait.....are we sure Ballard's not talking about himself?

There may be an upside, notice Ballard is practically begging the Pup-Peroni people for free bags of treats. MAYBE that means he spent all his money on getting his pants hemmed, finally. Poor George, but remember, I did offer to do it for free. 

Disclaimer: George really is a cool name,  animals with 'real' names are Nick.

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